


I'm not an alien, I just wanna get in your pants

by arashi_arisu



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:18:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4761365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arashi_arisu/pseuds/arashi_arisu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nino wants to get into Sho's pants, but Sho's afraid of aliens and he thinks Nino is an alien.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm not an alien, I just wanna get in your pants

**Author's Note:**

> It's pretty cracky, although I think it's kinda funny too. I saw one of those astrology posts on tumblr and for aquarius it said they believed in aliens and I thought wouldn't it be funny if Sho was afraid of aliens? And then I had to make it Sakumiya(and also Ohmiya but I just can't escape them)

"I'm just telling you, Sho-kun's been kinda weird recently."  
"and I'm telling you, you're thinking too hard."

Nino knew he wasn't. Even Aiba could tell Sho seemed a bit...paranoid at times.   
They'd been having tutoring sessions the past few weeks because Aiba was terrible at studying and Nino was surprisingly bad at math. And who better than their honor roll buddy Sho to help them both out a few times a week. Nothing seemed to be weird about Sho at first, Nino always knew he was kinda awkward in that cute nerdy way, but the way he'd look up at the sky after late nights in the library and "hey Nino think maybe I could stay at your place it's closer". Not that he minded that last part really, he'd been actively trying to get into Sho's pants for a while and sure he hadn't quite succeeded yet, but Sho's strange paranoia with the sky got him curious. That's why he'd gone and consulted with Jun.  
"Listen, Nino. I don't know what to tell you ok. I know you want to seduce Sho-"  
"That's not!-"  
"and you came to me because Sho and I used to be exclusive, but, even I wouldn't know about his sky paranoia or whatever. It's not like I asked him about the sky when I tied him up."  
"TMI, Jun..."  
"Have you tried asking his roommate, Ohno?"

Nino and Ohno had kinda been dating on and off for several years, and they'd both tried hooking up with Sho on several occasions or rather, Nino had tried. Ohno had succeeded. And now they were roommates. Nino didn't get how that worked but every Friday night he'd go over and they'd watch a movie and make out, ya know to relieve stress, but it didn't seem awkward. Sho never cared, although he did always ask Ohno to warn him ahead of time if Nino visited. Anyway Nino went over for their weekly make out session and managed to remember to ask about Sho somewhere halfway through High School Musical 2.  
"Hey, Oh-chan, you know if Sho-kun is like afraid of clouds or something?"  
Ohno moved from where he was kissing Nino's neck upward to his jaw before responding.  
"No, he's afraid of heights though."   
"I know what," he said stretching out on the couch to get more comfortable with Ohno, "but like, sometimes he looks up at the sky and it's weird like he's paranoid or something."  
Ohno hums, listening, or maybe focusing. He'd gotten Nino's shirt off at some point and was traveling dangerously low now.   
"you know, we watched a documentary a while back in class and it kinda freaked Sho-kun out."  
"o-oh yeah? Of what?" Nino moved his hands to Ohno's head and pulled at his hair while guiding him lower at the same time. Maybe this wasn't the best time to talk about Sho, but it was too late and he was too turned on by Ohno already so maybe things got too sexy and they both forgot about Sho for a little. Nino couldn't help it, Ohno's mouth was hot on him and they only did this once a week, although when Sho walked in it was kinda awkward, but not quite as awkward as the way both Nino and Ohno came in that moment.  
Sho hadn't said anything then, he just avoided eye contact and walked past them quickly.   
"He's never gonna let me fuck him now."  
"Don't worry, Nino. Sho-kun likes you."  
After they'd cleaned up, showered, and actually finished High School Musical 2, Ohno walked Nino to the door. "It was an alien documentary by the way," Ohno kissed Nino quickly "try asking him about it next time"

He didn't see Sho again until Tuesday. He knew it was kinda weird, with the whole Ohno thing, but he still needed to pass math and ask him about the alien thing. Like, Nino got it. Aiba went through an alien phase too in middle school and Nino, being his best friend, had to sit through listening to crazy conspiracy theories and going ufo watching. It was annoying sure, and after Aiba moved on from it he never watched an alien movie again, but Sho was different. He was afraid of aliens, and he was hot. Nino felt it was his duty to help Sho out.  
"Sho-kun, can we talk?"  
"If I has nothing to do with math and everything to do with Friday night, I'd honestly rather not, Nino. So, if you'll excuse me I want to be home before dark."  
"No its just...are you afraid of aliens?"  
Sho froze on the spot. He was halfway putting his books away, it was pretty cute.   
“How did you know...unless” Sho suddenly moved away from Nino and towards the exit. Well, fuck.  
“Sho! I’m not an alien! Don’t go!!”   
“Don’t follow me! Y-you’re not human!”  
Aiba walked back in as Sho left, and looked even more confused than he was when Sho was explaining polynomials.   
“Did something happen with Sho-chan?”  
“He thinks I’m an alien.”  
“Well I could’ve told him that.”   
Nino punched him.

The next day Sho didn’t show up to their tutoring sessions. Aiba had talked to him later that day though, and just as Nino thought, it was because of the alien thing.   
“He still thinks you’re an alien, Nino. You know, I still have some of my alien things from middle school If you’re into that!”  
“I’m not into that! I just...think he’s really cute and kinda wanna get into his pants.”  
Nino had to talk to Sho at some point, and this really couldn’t wait until his next make out session with Ohno. Friday was too far away for him and at this rate, both he and Aiba would fail Algebra.   
“So what are you gonna do?”  
“Well first of all, I need to convince him I’m not an alien.”  
Since it was obvious Sho wasn’t showing up, Nino had time to plan. First, he called Ohno and made sure Sho was at their place and then got him out  
“Oh-chan, I’m gonna bang Sho-kun today so you need to not be there.”  
“Is this really Nino or is this alien Nino?”  
“I’m not an alien!!” Even Ohno was convinced he was an alien, honestly is that the kind of impression he left on people? “You would’ve noticed if I was an alien, Satoshi.”  
“That’s what an alien would say. But it’s ok alien Nino, I’ll help you get with Sho-kun.”  
Nino rolled his eyes, he was done arguing with him. Ohno was probably half asleep still. “Thanks, Oh-chan.”  
The next part of his plan involved him going over and convincing Sho he was a human being with real human sexual needs. He first thought that maybe he could walk into Sho’s room naked, but that might be a little counterproductive. Like it would convince Sho he isn’t an alien, but it would also scar him for life. And if Nino wanted to get laid, Sho would have to want it too. Nino’s life was an endless struggle really. He still went over to Sho and Ohno’s dorm though. He got Ohno out anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to talk to Sho.

“Sho? Sho-kun are you here?” Nino began to make his way through the for some reason dark apartment before being tackled to the ground.  
“Don’t move alien!”  
“Sho! It’s just me, Nino.”   
“Nino? Is it really you?” Sho seemed to finally get it and got off Nino, although that part was unfortunate, and turned on the lights. “I’m sorry, I thought you were an alien.”  
“Yeah, I know...I was just worried for you ya know, you seemed uh paranoid.”  
“Nino, aliens are real and anyday they could come for us...but thanks for worrying, honestly this whole time I thought you just wanted to get in my pants.”  
“Oh, ya know, I’m just being me...a good friend ha ha...although ya know if you wanna bang I wouldn’t say no.”  
Sho looked him over slowly, wow he’d never done that before it was kind of sexy, and then grabbed his hand.   
“I think you should prove to me that you aren’t really an alien, Nino” Sho pulled Nino into his room, and locked the door behind them. Nino knew that blackmailing Sho’s astronomy professor into showing the class Aiba’s collection of alien conspiracies would pay off. He was finally fulfilling his dream of banging Sakurai Sho.


End file.
